It's not uncommon for many preschools and caregivers to schedule parent teacher conferences. In fact, parent teacher conferences are becoming increasingly common even with parents of infants because a conference provides an avenue of meaningful dialogue and communication in a face-to-face setting. And, even though child care providers of preschoolers or infants may not refer themself as a "teacher" per se, all care providers are true teachers in a sense of helping to nurture and provide both academic readiness and social structure.
Parents typically indicate that they most want to know how their kid is doing and what he is learning. So it is somewhat ironic that parents often dread the ritual of parent teacher conferences and don't prepare adequately to get the information they most want from their child care provider, nanny, or teacher through a formal parent teacher conference.
1. Start with a positive attitude about the parent teacher conference.Most child care providers scratch their head in puzzlement over an adult's nervousness in scheduling a parent teacher conference. After all, it is their child that is the topic of discussion. Adults who seem relentless in their daily barrage of questions about their child are often the same ones who become ill-at-ease and don't ask specific questions about their child during a parent teacher conference--often missing a prime opportunity to gain input and learn more about their child and what makes her click with peers.
2. Listen carefully and let the caregiver do most of the talking.
A parent teacher conference is not the time for parents to talk about their child as much as it is the time for them to listen and learn. Caregivers know things about your son or daughter that most others don't. To get the most out of one-on-one time with one of the most important people in a child's life, adults should be receptive and listen to what a caregiver has to say during a parent teacher conference. Children often act differently when their moms or dads are not around, and caregivers (unless it is an exclusive sitting arrangement) see how children behave in a group setting as well as individually. Parents for whatever reason become nervous in conference settings and often boast about their little Johnny or Suzy or brag about skills, when they should be tuned into what is being said and engage in a common solution to enhance your kid's growth. Remember, caregivers already know that the kids in their care are special.
3. Don't get defensive.
Why is that parents ask caregivers how a child does at a skill, say "sharing toys with others," then get defensive if the caregiver indicates that this is a concept that needs to be addressed? No youngster is perfect, and all children have strengths and areas of improvement. Rather than becoming defensive, parents take advantage of time at a parent teacher conference to ask what they can do to reinforce the positive behavior that is being taught. For toddlers, common improvement areas include hitting, biting, kicking, not minding, temper tantrums, and not sharing. Sometimes parents respond that their pride and joy doesn't exhibit this child behavior being discussed at home. That's not a surprise, because the environment and number of children is different. This is not the time to justify behaviors; rather, it is the time to work to resolve them.
4. Remember that it's about your kid, not you.
Teachers report that parents sometimes take the information about an offspring personally, such as it being a direct reflection on how he is being raised or what lessons are or are not being taught at home. Bottom line, though, is it really is not about moms or dads themselves or what educational experiences they may have encountered while in school. Times are different and kids are different. The focus of the parent teacher conference should always be to work in partnership with the caregiver to help a child cope and grow, and not to identify or fixate on the past.
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