| Don't Expect Mary Poppins Jan 12th 2012, 11:03 Employing a nanny, au pair, or long-term babysitter in your home is an increasingly popular choice with families. No longer are nannies just for the rich and famous; many middle-class families are choosing this type of care option for greater convenience, safety, and job flexibility. After all, if your child is safely at home with a responsible adult care provider, getting stuck in traffic or working late may lessen a family's stress. Parents should screen potential caregivers carefully, ask lots of questions, and check resources. Here are things to consider when making this important family decision. Determine What Type of Caregiver You Seek There are differences between a nanny, au pair, mother's helper, babysitter, or a private caregiver, so the first thing you should do is research what type of care it is you prefer. Pay, training, living arrangements, hours involved, and transportation requirements may greatly influence what type of professional care provider you seek. Prioritize Your Requirements vs. Wants What exactly do you want in a child care provider? While it's easy to imagine that the Mary Poppins perfect person you hire will be able to do it all, keep in mind that if YOU can't be Wonder Woman or Super Parent, neither will your nanny! Do write a list of "must have" requirements and then create a second column of "like to have" duties. A person who can fulfill all your requirements and be able to do the bonus duties like tutoring or driving a child to soccer practice as well might be the fit that's right for you, your child, and your family! Determine Appropriate Pay Once you fine-tune your list of requirements, determine what you are able to pay. Depending on how realistic you are, you may have to temper your list of requirements slightly. Nannies who have child care training and experience will typically command the most pay, and their terms may be very stringent. Do you want a live-in or live-out person? Would you consider an au pair, who is often less experienced and from another country and requires room and board, but can be a wonderful fit for certain families? Do you prefer a babysitter, who might require an hourly fee of $10-$15 an hour? Ask Your Family, Friends for Names and Resources The best way to find your dream child care provider for your kids is to ask around and find out who has had the best experiences or how they found their nanny. If you know someone who has had good luck using an au pair, ask to talk about the pros and cons to see if a similar situation might work for your family. By that same token, ask about bad experiences as well and do your best to avoid any similar incidents! Screen Applicants Carefully There is no such thing as being too careful when screening a potential child care provider. After all, this is a stranger with whom you're entrusting your children. It's a scary thought in some ways, but when the relationship works, it provides for a safe and nurturing environment for kids and more flexibility for parents. In the end, it's often your instinct (gut feeling) that will guide you to a provider who is not only qualified, but is the right fit with your family. Don't Expect the Impossible While movies have glamorized the profession of nannies, coupled with the popular reality shows that show nannies transforming dysfunctional families and monstrous kids into well-behaved and loving children, your life isn't a movie. If you can't juggle three kids, their school and after-school schedules, laundry and a well-maintained house, then don't expect the same of a nanny. Yes, you pay them, but the first priority is always about the kids. Be sure to keep your expectations realistic to avoid the "perpetually disappointed" routine. Don't Feel Guilty and Be Sure Relationship Works Guilt about leaving kids while at work is an emotion that working parents simply need to get over. If you let it get to you, then most likely, you'll transfer that misery over to your kids and your child care provider as well. Then, everyone will be unhappy. Keep the perspective that a child care provider is not there to replace a parent; accept that you work and your kids will be in good hands while away. By the same token, you are in charge and make sure that you are happy and comfortable with any child care arrangement ... or change it so that you are! Use Caution With Playgroups, Babysitter Co-ops, Occasional Care Even if you're active in a playgroup or share babysitting duties among neighbors and family members, you should be as careful with safety and comfort level with occasional child care as you are with a professional provider. Kids need constant, quality supervision whether it is with a teenager, next-door-neighbor, or friend. It's always best to have a conversation upfront about your parenting styles and supervision expectations before something bad happens, or you're unhappy with a situation. The key is to communicate!  | |
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